Well, too long applies to much of our communication, whether written or verbal. Look at web sites or read brochures and then try to summarize the key point. It may be impossible. You are probably leaving donors saying, “Wait. What will my gift do?” or “What exactly do they do?”
First, your prospects and donors must believe that you know what you are doing. To do this, just show them you have thought through a challenge and actually helped others with similar challenges. A few sentences about a real situation will do this.
Second, your prospects and donors must feel an initial level of trust for you and your work. People need to be sure they “get” what you do clearly before they will want to work with you. Sometimes revealing a weakness that you overcame builds a sense of trust.
Take the time to work on a few simple, clear sentences, free of jargon, that will help the reader or listener understand what you do. Don’t get sucked in by the big guys use of “high-falutin” language. In fact, if you want to compete against them, see what they do and do the opposite.
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